The 2013 VMAs: The Good, The Bad, and The Miley

Alrighty folks!  Well I didn't get to watch the actual broadcast, but like most of the world I have went back and watched a vast majority of the MTV Video Music Awards 2013.  There's a ton of things circulating on the internet about this show, like the return of NSYNC, the crazy performances, and whatever that thing Miley Cyrus did is called; so I think it's time I let everyone know what I thought about this whole thing.

I'm going to start off with the good things from the show:

KATY PERRY FINISHES OFF THE NIGHT ON TOP

Katy Perry's performance of her new single Roar was incredible.  Having it right outside the Brooklyn Bridge in a boxing ring, Katy dawned her boxing best and through a one round KO of a performance.  The song itself is one of my favorites on mainstream radio currently, and Katy showed why she is topping the charts with this performance.  Also I commend Katy on closing the show with a solid performance.  She didn't have to resort to any shocking or controversial publicity gimmicks, she dressed conservatively and delivered a solid performance.  A+ for Miss Perry last night.

LADY GAGA SHINES WITH OR WITHOUT APPLAUSE

Lady Gaga went for it all last night.  Pulling out four costume changes during her performance of her new single Applause.  While Gaga may be catching a lot of useless criticism from celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, she brought the house down while opening the show up.  I was impressed at everything she brought to the table, it was a Lady Gaga performance so I nothing really shocked me because I was expecting the unexpected from the beginning when she showed up looking like a Dr. Who character at the beginning.  (Any Dr. Who fans also think Silence In The Library when the show opened on Gaga's face in the white square?)

Gaga ended her performance with a sea shell swimsuit that made me think that Shakira, Ke$ha, and Princess Ariel had a love child.  I've been doing my research on Twitter and the web and Gaga's performance was met to a lot of jeers and boos from the audience...Really?  We all know what Lady Gaga does, but it was a solid performance.  Gaga gets a solid A from me!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE ROCKS PERFORMANCE WORTHY OF THE SUPERBOWL

An awesome medley of hits is what Justin Timberlake brought to the table at the VMAs.  Justin was being honored so naturally he gets to perform all he wants, but he got a solid 15 minute set and though out all of his songs.  I was sitting there singing along to everything and was just impressed.  Justin Timberlake has cemented himself as a legend in this business and it shined bright last night. A+ for Justin!

I LOVE VANESSA BAYER

I was so stoked to see Vanessa Bayer appear to introduce Miley Cyrus.  This impersonation is one of my favorites going in.  Vanessa Bayer, will you accept my proposal of marriage, cause you're amazing.  It was pretty cool...

Now of course with all the good, there comes the bad:

NSYNC IS BACK!!!  WAIT...WAS THAT IT?

Rumors circulating for weeks and my Facebook wall was so full of 90s kids talking about NSYNC reunions that I was about to say, "Bye Bye Bye," to my profile,  I watched all of Justin's performance mostly just waiting for this one moment.  Now when I say moment...I mean moment.  The rest of the crew came up out of the ground, sort of like Destiny's Child did at the Superbowl?  They started off great, but then as soon as it began...it stopped.  It really disappointed me.  I also felt bad for JC who tried to get one little moment for himself letting out some little note at the end just to get a pop.  The reunion was nice, but I guess when it comes to the boy band, Justin said, "It's Gonna Be Me!"

I MISS HANNAH MONTANA...

Beware everyone...Hannah Montana is gone and she's been slayed by this demon beast known as Miley Cyrus.  From the moment I saw that Star Trek teddy bear, I knew the storm was brewing as Miley was set to perform We Can't Stop.  The tongue chewing hyena girl then burst out of that teddy bear and began humping it.  It got a bit tamer as she walked around the stage like she had jock itch and chugged 14 1/2 bottles of Nyquil before she burst through that stuffed animal.

The Robin Thicke came out and we were forced to see this...

(I feel so bad for those kids in the front.  Hope they didn't win those tickets!)

We then got to see Miley grinding and sort of twerking (she looked like a drunk ostrich) all over Robin Thicke.  She also managed to find a foam finger that was used to grope everything she and Thicke may have respectively.  I'm going to end the review of her performance because I can't stop looking at the picture above.  Seriously, did she get split on the monkey bars as a kid or something?  How does that even happen!?  Miley gets an F...or more like a WTF.

So those are my highlights of the VMAs. What did you guys think?  Let me know! 

Glee Review - I Kissed A Girl

I KISSED A GIRL

Alright so we start off this episode off and we quickly learn that it's about Santana getting outed by a rival in Sue and Burt's campaign.  (Anyone else find it odd that we never once saw this guy?)  But Santana's going to get suspended for slapping Finn due to the school's no violence policy to which Santana brings up a good point asking why students who throw slushies aren't getting suspended.  The answer?  Slushies aren't a weapon.  It's lame but it's an explanation.  But Finn steps up and all of the sudden says Santana didn't slap him.  Santana and everyone else are shocked by this but Finn tells Santana that he wants to kind of reunite the school's two glee clubs.

After this we learn that Finn has chosen a theme for the week.  What is this theme you may ask?  Lady Songs By Ladies.  Yep, it's all song about women and power sang by powerful women.  How do we start it off?  Kurt and Blaine sing Pink...

(thank you for saying it all Pink)

But let's not forget about what Glee does best, all the secondary story-lines!  Alright.  So Puck and Shelby are getting all up into each other.  Shelby calls Puck after the baby (like I care to know her name, I know it's a girl) falls and busts her lip open.  (Sure call a high school kid)  But then they go off and do it, Shelby thinks it's a bad idea again, and Puck leaves angry.  And where does good old Puck go when he's angry?  To bang Quinn.  (Good man Puck, good man)  But Quinn has other plans and is trying to get herself pregnant again and Puck is not having a bit of that.  (Good man Puck, good man)  But after Puck decides to stay and cuddle he tells Quinn of his and Shelby's doings.  (Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnnn!)  And oh yeah somewhere in there Puck sings Melissa Etheridge.  (Glee's way of saying, "Oh yeah, lesbian episode, you know what this needs?  Melissa Freakin Etheridge.)

(Yeah I Googled Miss Etheridge.  I thought she was dead.  Learn something new everyday.)

Now onto a storyline that I liked.  Coach Beiste and her man Cooter...Sorry but did nobody think that making the very manly lady love a man named Cooter...I'm just going to leave that one alone.  (She calls him Coot for the love of God!)  But in this episode we see something new...Sue.  Sue has a apparently had a wack at Cooter a time or two.  (Yeah I just wrote that.)  Sue's called him up and soon after we see Beiste catch Sue and Cooter out on the town.  Cooter tells Beiste that 's tried making moves but she just didn't seem interested.  Beiste is sad and leaves.  (For who could ever love a Beiste!)   Later on after Sue loses the election to Burt,  (I'm not making a big deal of it, the episode sure didn't.)  Beiste comes back in the room and tells Cooter that she loves him and she's not giving up.  Oh yeah, she sang Jolene (Beiste did.)  And you know what?  I really liked it.  Maybe the best song of the show!

But speaking of the best song of the show, let's go on to the worst.  Finn singing a slow ballad of Girls Just Want To Have Fun...I've never wanted to die watching TV before, way to go Finn you knocked something off my bucket list!

(I approached Cyndi for her opinion on Finn's performance and received this quote: "He did better than I thought he would.  I took up meth for that song and all he took was his masculinity.")

Finally.  The election came up.  Kurt lost.  Brittany won.  And Rachel stuffed the ballot box...Winning an election and not getting enough votes!  Who would support such a thing?!

But finally back to the main storyline.  Santana is confronted by a new jock who wants to bang her straight again and all of the glee club girls come out of nowhere like a swarm of killer bees and tell him to back off.  This leads into I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry.  No when I think of that song and those girls singing it I...I...I'll be back in a minute.

(I didn't get that joke)

But finally we learn that Santana's parents were okay with her being just how she is but she's got to go tell her grandmother and we get a great scene with her grandma just telling her to get out of the house and never come back.  The line that stuck out to me the most was Santana asking, "What's different about me now?"  Which was a good point.  I liked it.  Good scene.  Applause for Glee.

BUT THEN...

Kurt's accused of stuffing his ballot box.  (Snicker)  And then Rachel goes and confesses to it.  She's suspended for one week and...and...AND...

BANNED FROM COMPETING AT SECTIONALS

Let that shocker sink in and I'll see you for the next episode...

Overall Review for I Kissed A Girl : I liked it!  

 

(I still don't get it.)